A Secret Admirer

It was an hour to midnight. The cold wind flowed in through the open window near Rohan’s desk. For the past fifteen minutes, he had been relying on the light from the study-lamp. He frowned at what was in front of him.

“Rohan, what are you doing?” said Rani.

Rohan quickly tried to put away his work in the drawer of his table. But, the sudden swift movements of his hands were nothing if not noticeable.

“What are you trying to hide from me?”

“Rani, it’s nothing…”

Rani opened the drawer. Rohan frowned as Rani discovered the diary lying in the drawer.

“So, what have you been writing?” said Rani, flipping the pages of the diary to discover its latest contents.

“It’s nothing, I tell you”, insisted Rohan vainly.

“You have met with little success in hiding stuff from me in the five months of our marriage”, Rani said smiling triumphantly with the diary in hand. “I seriously doubt whether things are going to any different in the future. Yes, here it is - today’s entry…”

“I’m in for an embarrassing night”, concluded Rohan as Rani began to read the entry aloud:

“It’s something I say everyday, it’s nothing new.

But, I can never stop telling you that I love you.”

“I love you, too. I feel so very lucky to have a husband as romantic as you. But…”

“What?”

Rani began to laugh and slowly began moving away before she said, “I can’t deny that you write terrible poetry.”

Rohan caught up with his wife quickly as she began to run. He took her in his arms and said, “Well, I deserve more than that for the effort.”

“But, you were trying to hide it from me. Honesty would have a little more rewarding, you know.”

“In that case, I have a little game in mind. Each gets rewarded for being truthful…”

“And I’m supposed to be truthful about exactly what?” said Rani suspiciously.

“About crushes you might have had in school or college.”

“I’ve already told you about mine.”

“Yes, but you never mentioned the name or elaborated.”

“I don’t know his name…”

“Oh, come on, Rani!”

“Honestly, sweetheart, I don’t know his name. He was a secret admirer. You were at the same school and in the same class as I. Had I been especially close to any guy, it would have been in the realm of your knowledge, wouldn’t it?”

“Ok, I believe you. Go on, now”.

“It wasn’t quite a crush. I was very, very curious, though, to find out who he was. I would probably have liked him if he had been more open about his identity. The fact that he did everything secretly made me feel a little uncomfortable.”

“So, how exactly did this secret admirer reveal his admiration, then?”

“He used poetry.”

“He used poetry?”

“Yes, he used to write me love-poems irregularly. I’d find them in my school-bag without a clue as to who might have put them in. I’ve been very lucky that my parents have never caught me with any of them. The contents would have greatly disturbed them.”

“How come you never reported it to the school authorities?”

“I didn’t see any harm coming from it, a little uncomfortable though it made me, sometimes…”

“Ah, so, you secretly admired it, too, eh?”

“In a way, yes…” She smiled and paused for a few moments. She then looked directly at her husband and said, “You haven’t told me about your crushes.”

“I’m going to bed.”

“That isn’t fair. You can’t sleep without telling me!”

“You’ll find out when you open my drawer again.”

“What?”

Rohan didn’t answer. He left for the bedroom. Rani’s eyes drifted to the diary on the desk. She approached the desk with overwhelming curiosity and opened the drawer. She hadn’t noticed anything apart from the diary, earlier. There was a note that read:

“This drawer has a false bottom.”

Not knowing what more surprises were in store for her, she fiddled around with the drawer’s bottom. Nearly a minute later, the false bottom was lifted. Her face registered nothing. She seemed to be beyond emotion for a moment. Underneath was a piece of paper that read:

“I love you, I’ve said in several verses:

A secret it is that your heart still nurses.

My passion has increased greatly in intensity;

Revelation is its consequence. My identity,

Of course, lies amidst this display of affection

Holding the truth behind my whole intention.

And although honest about my love, I may be a liar.

Nothing though can deny that I’m your Secret Admirer.”

The identity of her admirer lay in the first word of each line.